I wonder whether I'm going to start writing a happy post everyday now.
I cannot describe how I feel. I cannot stop smiling. :)

I missed being held and to be held by him is just a dream come true. No matter how cold he may seem, he is sweet. He may not know how to express himself, but he sure knows how to make me happy.

Brendon, I don't know whether you will read this or not, but I can tell you I am happy. There is not a doubt in my mind, I am happy.

On a side note, WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED IN DEXTER!? BURYING KIDS IN CEMENT, WTF?!

Relief

I could finally say that I am relieved. For once in my life, I am happy where I am.
I never expected things to turn out the way they did, but who's complaining?
This is better than I expected, I am on cloud 9.
Thank you.

I cried myself to sleep again.

foxtrot, uniforn, charlie, kilo.

Well what can I say?
There's not much to say honestly.
Sometimes I feel like I should just give up. Live life without worrying so much, ya know? But that's impossible, especially for me.
According to a certain someone, I will worry a lot my whole life. That is always what I wanted to hear.
How do some people go on living without worrying?!

On another note, I haven't been the happiest camper lately. A certain someone has been driving me mad and there's nothing I could so about it. I'd like to think that I am strong but I am slowly cracking. I'm pretty sure I could handle this on my own though, no need to get anyone involved. Plus, the people that know where I am have been helping me as much as they can, but it's just not working.

Sometimes I wonder: is there something wrong with me? I mean, I know I'm not the smartest girl out there, I'm not the prettiest and I'm definitely not the funniest or nicest. What the hell do I have going on for me? Nothing, absolutely nothing.

Maybe my violin teacher was right, I do have low self esteem. FUCK!

Trust

I don't trust you anymore.
Once upon a time I was able to tell you anything, but times have changed and so have you.
You cannot be trusted.

On a lighter note, I'm really loving my music lately. Alice Cooper is back!

I need some Vitamin D

I haven't blogged in a while, and I apologize.
You see, I didn't need to blog. I didn't need to get something off my chest.

I don't know what to do anymore...
I just want to give up.
I'm sure that would be the wise thing to do.
I mean, why should I be upset over one person when there are so many other people out there?

I can't seem to get him off my mind.
I haven't felt this way in years.
I'm happy when I'm around him, I really am.
Knowing he will never have any feelings for me kills me.
Whenever I've liked someone, they've always liked me back.
I don't know why, but it always turned out that way.
This is new to me and I don't know what to do.
Some people tell me to play hard to get, but I don't want to play any games.

I know you might be reading this Brendon.
I'm not always this upset, trust me.
Something you said yesterday really got to me and I don't even know why.
I'm sorry, I should have listened to you.
I'm on the verge of tears...

Day 10

ROBIN HOOD HAT

Forgot Day 7

I can be strange...

Day 9

Dyed hair, no yellow!

Day 8

Sick

Day 6

I cried today, my film was blank.

Day 5

Before going to bed, who cares.

Day 4

homeworkface.

Day 3

Day 2

I don't want to show my face to the world.

Day 1

Dull.

One Year

I am starting a new project. I will take one photograph everyday for one year.

Summer just fades away

Summer has gone by so fast. It seems like only yesterday summer began and it has finally come to an end.
My only regret: not staying up late and going to work everyday.

I wish I did more with my summer, did something spontaneous, did something new.
I would be lying if I said I did not do anything fun. I did meet some amazing people and grew closer with others.

I wonder what the next school year brings...

adolescent crisis

Today I have realized that 'hooking up' has become essential to the survival of most adolescents. As a person may not live 4 days without water, a teenager may not think clearly without feeding their sexual needs (for 4 days or less), comme c'est dégoutant.

Poor little 16-year old virgin, how will you ever survive?

However, I guess I'm an exception. I think I will survive just fine, how odd! I'm just old school, waiting for that special person.

On the other hand, I will be turning 18 in 156 days. You know what that means? I will be able to get my tattoo in 157 days (since the tattoo parlour is closed on my birthday)! I am planning on getting a quote from "Le Petit Prince". Voici:

07:00 on a Thursday

At the moment, it is 07:06. I have work in less than an hour and I am dreading it. Who likes having to yell at kids and being yelled at by kids? Nobody.

As for my quirky thought of the day: I wish I were a time traveler.

Out with the old, in with the new.

I have officially decided to grow my hair. I welcome awkward hair, bad-hair days, sudden urges to cut hair in the next long, dreadful 2-3 years.

This loneliness...

This loneliness is eating me up. I need to know that you will save me before I'm gone. Promise me.


"You have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you."

I seem to be stuck...

I seem to be stuck. Lost. I don't know how it turned out this way. I wasn't always this way. It seems as if I have dug myself a hole in which I could hide. This hole in which I find myself is dark. It is cold... lonely. I don't know how to break free. No matter what I do. No matter what I tell myself, I am stuck.

Untitled

Who is to say that I am not good enough?
Who is to judge me without knowing me?

I find it absolutely ridiculous that a person may decide whether they are fond of someone merely based on their appearance. Since when has a person's exterior become the gateway to their interior?

"Never judge a book by its cover"

That is what they say...yet when is the last time I have heard that saying? Two years ago? Five years ago?

I may not truthfully say that I am not superficial. I am only human. However I refuse to be mean to a person just because they are not of the same status as I am, or in my group of friends. We are all human.

Resurrected Journal

The following are excerpts of my journal:

As for love...
I do not have it.
I search for it,
I hope to find it.
I hope to hold on to it.

I have a body. It is a work of art. Everybody is a work of art. My breasts may be small, I may be slim and I may have a few scars, but I am beautiful. I will embrace my beauty, as should you.

I had a dream about him. He was rude, yet sweet. Inexperienced, yet professional. Awkward, yet adorable. Everyone has their flaws, but I'll accept yours. Please accept mine.

Yours truly,
Katherine


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On a side note, I bought a few books from amazon. I'm so excited to read them.

Nostalgic Moment

I was looking back at a past blog I used to have, and I came across this post:


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Freedom
We have the freedom to say what we want, right?
We have the freedom to have our own opinions, right?
Do we really think for ourselves?
Think about it, just for a second...
We're born, we have no knowledge, we're there to learn however, the first people to shove images in our minds are our parents. Hopefully they'll do a good job...
After that, it's our friends and maybe our teachers...
Then along came the media... once we reach adolescence, we are influenced by the celebrities, the whos who and what or whatever.

So, I'm wondering, is this who i really am? Or am I merely imitations of the people I see?

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Currently, I know who I am, what I like, my hobbies, etc. I find it funny since we studied this in Intro to psychology, anthropology and sociology. It's called "Identity vs. Role Confusion". I am no longer confused. :)

Oh, I started using my new camera.

Bienvenue à la nostalgie

Welcome, welcome all.

I have decided to finally create a blog as a means of releasing tension, expressing myself, etc.
One may say that there's a diary for that, but I have my own diary/journal already, however none of that will find it's way here. ;)

A little introduction:
My name is Katherine. I am currently 17 years old, obviously I'm in highschool. Highschool is a bore, sometimes. I'm just grateful that I have great friends, or else that place would be a complete bore. What else can I say?



My parents went to Saint-Maarten. They said that they wanted to buy an Nikon D90. I'm just hoping that they'll come back with a camera!