I cried last night, thinking of how I may have offended you.
The thought of making you anything but happy is eating away at me.
I really hope you feel better soon, whether it is my fault or not.
I simply cannot stand the thought of you in such a state of mind.
I care about you more than you could ever imagine, and I would never want to do anything to hurt you.

I wonder whether I'm going to start writing a happy post everyday now.
I cannot describe how I feel. I cannot stop smiling. :)

I missed being held and to be held by him is just a dream come true. No matter how cold he may seem, he is sweet. He may not know how to express himself, but he sure knows how to make me happy.

Brendon, I don't know whether you will read this or not, but I can tell you I am happy. There is not a doubt in my mind, I am happy.

On a side note, WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED IN DEXTER!? BURYING KIDS IN CEMENT, WTF?!

Relief

I could finally say that I am relieved. For once in my life, I am happy where I am.
I never expected things to turn out the way they did, but who's complaining?
This is better than I expected, I am on cloud 9.
Thank you.

I cried myself to sleep again.

foxtrot, uniforn, charlie, kilo.

Well what can I say?
There's not much to say honestly.
Sometimes I feel like I should just give up. Live life without worrying so much, ya know? But that's impossible, especially for me.
According to a certain someone, I will worry a lot my whole life. That is always what I wanted to hear.
How do some people go on living without worrying?!

On another note, I haven't been the happiest camper lately. A certain someone has been driving me mad and there's nothing I could so about it. I'd like to think that I am strong but I am slowly cracking. I'm pretty sure I could handle this on my own though, no need to get anyone involved. Plus, the people that know where I am have been helping me as much as they can, but it's just not working.

Sometimes I wonder: is there something wrong with me? I mean, I know I'm not the smartest girl out there, I'm not the prettiest and I'm definitely not the funniest or nicest. What the hell do I have going on for me? Nothing, absolutely nothing.

Maybe my violin teacher was right, I do have low self esteem. FUCK!

Trust

I don't trust you anymore.
Once upon a time I was able to tell you anything, but times have changed and so have you.
You cannot be trusted.

On a lighter note, I'm really loving my music lately. Alice Cooper is back!

I need some Vitamin D

I haven't blogged in a while, and I apologize.
You see, I didn't need to blog. I didn't need to get something off my chest.

I don't know what to do anymore...
I just want to give up.
I'm sure that would be the wise thing to do.
I mean, why should I be upset over one person when there are so many other people out there?

I can't seem to get him off my mind.
I haven't felt this way in years.
I'm happy when I'm around him, I really am.
Knowing he will never have any feelings for me kills me.
Whenever I've liked someone, they've always liked me back.
I don't know why, but it always turned out that way.
This is new to me and I don't know what to do.
Some people tell me to play hard to get, but I don't want to play any games.

I know you might be reading this Brendon.
I'm not always this upset, trust me.
Something you said yesterday really got to me and I don't even know why.
I'm sorry, I should have listened to you.
I'm on the verge of tears...